Mummy Mayhem

Mum, Marketer and ever-so-slightly Melodramatic

Extreme Potty Training August 5, 2010

Filed under: Hong Kong Living,Toddler Mayhem — mummymayhem @ 1:08 am
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And so that dreaded day has come and I have come to the realization that Evelyn is exhibiting the signs that she is ready to ditch the nappies for an array of pink knicks.  The classic give-aways have been in play for about 8 weeks now; like secret nesting spots behind the curtains, and in my wardrobe for brewing up big ones; removing her nappy in public places and screaming out “Hoorah Evie did wee wee” at inappropriate social moments; and trying to wee boy-style by standing up against the loo, dropping her nappy, thrusting her hips forward, and then wondering why her aim was so off?

So after a blissful (nappy-clad) week in Thailand I decided that this was the week to take on the inevitable.  I considered going hard-core and adopting the Gina Ford approach; but I didn’t get very far as the number one tip was “ensure a calm environment with no interruptions”.  Cue rude interruption: a major flood from a broken pipe meant we were uprooted from our apartment onto Hong Kong Island for a week.  And, wouldn’t you know, Evelyn has refused to go back to nappies.  So now I am marching around Central with a potty in tow, at least 3 changes of clothes, and a very short fuse.

The flood was quite bad resulting in the floor of the entire flat being ripped up and replaced.  Whilst it did stress us out (there’s nothing like mopping a floor at midnight to add a bit of glamour to a girl’s life), apparently it was the coolest thing ever if you are a 3 year old.  I looked down and saw the wooden floor tiles cracking, breaking and causing major health hazard; Lachlan saw our entire living room floor mutated into a giant car mat. To him the exposed concrete became lakes to circumnavigate with his toy cars; Buckled tiles became mountains to scale (with mandatory full revving noise); when faced with water trickling out from soaked furniture his car ingeniously transformed in his mind into a boat to traverse a raging river.  So the lesson for me is to roll with the punches more, and view this hellish week through the eyes of a 3 year old.

 

It’s a jungle out there! July 13, 2010

Filed under: Hong Kong Living,Toddler Mayhem — mummymayhem @ 2:39 am
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Hong Kong is mostly thought of as a concrete jungle of sky scrapers and close-quarters living and for good reason; it is a sea of grey and reflective glass on many streets.

  However, I didn’t realize until recently that Hong Kong is apparently greener than we thought; in fact more than 70 % of its land mass is rural mountains, forests and outlying islands.  Or so says the HK Tourism Board (let us remember for one moment that they report into the HKG govt who are merely puppets at the end of Beijing’s strings).  So, for arguments sake lets reduce this 70% to a more realistic 50% in my layman’s observations.

 We live in one of the more rural areas of Hong Kong, Discovery Bay (DB).  Also known to non-islanders as “The Truman Show”, “Pleasantville”, “Disco Bay” and “Dogs and Babies (the real acronym for DB)”.  We may live in an 11th floor bijou apartment with no outside space but we back onto the mountain so feel like we have a garden; that is to people without fences and sheds.  The kids love going for “bush walks” and exploring.  As you will see in this pic, Lachlan and I walk to his sports class every Monday by cutting through the back of the block onto a partially trod path some cunning dog walkers created.  It works well, everyone is happy: my boy feels like Indiana Jones exploring the wilderness, and I feel like I am doing my bit to help him see what life is like outside of concrete, lift lobbies and grey. 

 However, with the Summer comes the snakes: Big, Mean, Poisonous ones.  Warmed up and clearly ready to take their own excursions they leave their mountain hideaways for more populated areas.  Earlier this week I rushed to work, late, so hoped on the bus.  The bus driver suddenly started blasting his horn and signalling like a crazy man to 2 security patrol men (I did warn you DB was the Truman Show). It eventuated that he had run over a 2+ metre cobra with a flattened head; whether it was the spitting cobra flat head variety or the result of a nasty run in with the bus tyres I will never know but it was big enough to stop the seasonal bush walks with the kids.

 In true Hong Kong style they have dedicated Snake Police; I kid you not, check out these videos from a DB snake catching event a few months ago.  I know a guy whose favourite chat up line was to convince women he was a “dolphin trainer”, I think that Snake Police just usurped that gem, what a business card it would make!

 Catching the snake http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V8PWlCZJG4&feature=related

 See ya snake http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHdFDNGKwpM&feature=related

 

Happy Birthday Glasters July 6, 2010

Filed under: Life outside of Mum-dom — mummymayhem @ 8:24 am
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Glastonbury just celebrated its 40th anniversary and baked in hottest temperatures since 1995…the year I went.  I was 22, well into my music, and to quote The Farm’s Groovy Train I had “baggy jeans and long blonde hair, without a care in the world”.  I have a classic photo somewhere of me waking up in a poetry tent (better not to ask) with my buddy Abigail.  I was dressed in a tie-die skirt and a fab T-Shirt honouring my favourite band at the time, PULP (replaced The Stone Roses, can’t lose either way!), sloganed “I’m Common” on the back – priceless – see if you can see me in the crowd shot  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWaHnlt2I3U .  When we were choosing baby names my boy selection was “Jarvis” but it was vetoed by Christian as that would make his name “Jarvis May” which would be a field day for any Aussies given its similarity to Jarvis Bay http://www.jervisbaytourism.com/. 80,000 revellers were there in full force; half of them climbing over the fence on ladders you could rent from entrepreneurial Scousers.  I saw Massive Attack, The Prodigy, Jamiroquai, Boo Radleys, Weezer, Portishead, The Charlatans, Oasis, I chose The Verve instead of The Cure, and many others I can’t remember now.  I do however remember us being pretty organized for it as this was pre-mobile phone days so if I was split up in an 80k mosh-pit chances are you don’t get to see each other again until the next morning over a bacon buttie!  This year they attracted over 175,000 people: hard to imagine you can wonder around from field to field anymore, casually seeing a band and then moving on to the next without getting stressed out about 3 hour waits to get into each stage area.  I see that U2 are rumoured to play Glastonbury at 2013 – the year of my 40th – I am so going to make sure I am there.

 

Ikea: the Great Escape June 17, 2010

Filed under: Hong Kong Living,Toddler Mayhem — mummymayhem @ 7:15 am
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A subject close to many people’s hearts: the joy, pain and tears of Ikea. 

Unfortunately, having kids and shopping at Ikea go hand-in-hand. Afterall, its gear is affordable and appealing enough to warrant entry into a toddler dominated domain; yet at the same time it has that if-I-squint-it’s-designer edge which fools parents into thinking they are buying quality kit. 

This lunchtime I attempted the impossible: a quick run around Ikea .  I failed spectacularly.       

 So why put myself through Ikea agony?  To stop the night waking of course!  Lachlan is growing so tall, so quickly, that he frequently wakes as a result of those long legs falling over the side of his toddler bed.  He is one lanky fella!  I hear rumours that the England Rugby team is very excited at the prospect of him joining them in 15 years time. Don’t you agree that “Lachie the Lock” has a certain ring to it?

Anyhoo, back to Ikea.  I popped in to size up a bed and somehow my mind was abducted.  I found myself walking around the one-way hell path with a trolley filled with picnic plates and outdoor kids furniture….so what?  I tell you so what:  I live on 11th floor of a block with no balcony and not a picnic table in sight – what on earth do I need that crap for?  This is the genius intention of the Ikea puppet masters.  They play old Spandau Ballet tunes in constant rotation until you are utterly bewitched by the bright colours and bold stripes. 

Finding myself piled high with needless junk I called Christian out of a meeting practically panting “Shall I get the bed, shall I, shall I, shall I”?  Sensibly, and after 12 years experience of dealing with me, Christian said “whatever you think is best darling – now can I please go”?.  This didn’t help!  I needed a firm NO. 

In a moment of personal victory I took down the bed measurements (my only intended task ) and ditched the full trolley behind a lighting exhibit.  Then I tried to make a run for it before I was sucked into to buying anything else.  Herein lies the challenge – as you well know it is impossible to leave. 

I once read an article with the founder of Ikea who said he was so inspired by the spiral layout of NYC’s Guggenheim Museum http://www.guggenheim.org/ that he realised he could provide customers with a simple navigation within his store.  My theory on this is that he was looking for a toilet in the museum and was locked into a 2 hour journey with no way back and thought- Aha! Perfect retail entrapment! 

Oh well, no harm done, nor money spent. I do, however, feel quite guilty about the poor staff who will come across my full trolley at closing time and spend time putting the orphaned picnic plates away.

Foot notes:

I read an excellent book about the Architect of the Guggenheim, Frank Lloyd Wright, “Loving Frank by Nancy Horan” Trust me it’s WOW worthy http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/898885.Loving_Frank

The cause all those Ikea headaches http://www.greatbuildings.com/buildings/Guggenheim_Museum.html

These guys are far more bitter, and eloquent, about Ikea than I could ever be  http://encyclopediadramatica.com/IKEA

Louise

 

Denial is….forgetting I am 20 years older June 3, 2010

Filed under: Life outside of Mum-dom — mummymayhem @ 7:02 am
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I have had a few “age” reminders this last month.  Now, I am not being morose and sensing my own fragile mortality or anything that dramatic, but it has been a slight wake up call to live more in the moment, when the credit card allows!

Cruel reminder 1:  I recently picked up my new passport and realised that the 10.5 year expiry date would mean I would be 48 when it finishes.  48? Louise? Surely they gave me the wrong passport ? 

Cruel reminder 2:  I had to complete a banking registration survey and realised I had jumped up an age segmentation band; from 25-35 to 35-50 yikes (that’s Grandma territory at the top end of the age scale).   

Cruel reminder 3:  Several weeks ago I was lucky enough to go and stay with good friends in Hanoi sans handbrakes and hubbie.  My cavalier buddy, Bevan,  had me bombing around Hanoi’s Lakes on the back of his motorbike.  It took me back to my last – and only other – motorbiking foray: my first girls-away holiday to Rhodes when I was 17.  That was 20 years ago when my friend Jenny and I were having far too much bikini-clad fun sitting on the back of some random hunk’s rented motorbike for the day, shortly before hitting the clubs for some Madonna dance moves fueled on by an Ouzo party-starter.  In comparison my 37-year-old motorbike experience was still exhilarating but I found I was more of a worrier than my 17-year old self (what if I fall off never entered my head when I was 17!)

In all honesty I am loving my 30s. I say that now, whilst I can, as I enter my late 30s this August.  Until then I shall stay in blissful denial!

 

Keep it local, strike gold June 1, 2010

Filed under: Hong Kong Living — mummymayhem @ 6:27 am
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I am having a major I ♥ HKG day today.  In one humble lunch-hour I struck gold as I rummaged through the small stall shops in The Lanes. “The Lanes” are 2 parallel, bustling streets in the centre of Hong Kong’s business district. Never, EVER called by their real names, Li Yuen Street East and Li Yuen Street West, they are a crazy collection of stalls and shops hawking everything you could imagine. Sure there is a lot of crap to sift through but keep panning and gold will be your reward. 

 With a week in Thailand coming up I wanted to get us some new board-shorts to save the balcony piling up with damp clothes: H&M HK$249, The Lanes gave me Quicksilver (originals too) for $25!  And its not just clothes where HKG local shopping helps a girl out.  My broken watch was quoted at $250 plus 4 weeks in a repair centre whereas the 120 year old dude outside Shanghai Tang fixed it in less than 5 minutes for $15- in your face big brand shops!  I also popped into the Mattel sale and went nuts on the 80% mark-downs on goodies that I really didn’t need considering I actually work for a major competitor! 

 So in an effort to actually save money I intend to keep it local.  It works: that is until I can’t resist a bargain that has no place in my wardrobe…..like the ski jacket I just bought….and its 27 degrees outside.  Oops!

 

Mr T knew what he was talking about May 4, 2010

Filed under: Hong Kong Living — mummymayhem @ 8:22 am

A new Canadian study has revealed that letting toddlers watch more than 2 hours of TV per day leads to a decrease in classroom engagement and poor results in maths at the age of 10.  Unsurprisingly, these kids also had a greater body mass index due to perils that being a couch potato brings.

Given half a chance Lachlan can disappear into the magical TV box; his eyes looking like he had been charmed by the snake from Jungle Book. We have to seriously limit his TV to less than one hour a day max or otherwise he would be there all day.

As for me: living in HKG means that TV selection is very poor. To make up for this I love a good old knock-off DVD TV series which give you all the action and none of the ads. They are very easy to find in Hong Kong; just sit outside the right bar in Lan Kwai Fong and a deaf lady walks around displaying this week’s hottest releases spread out for easy selection like an ornate Chinese fan.  She even has a returns policy for regulars which is good as 4 times out of 5 you’ll be watching an episode in English which inexplicably drops into Russian with Chinese subtitles and then back out again…. quite a challenge to follow after a long day. They always say though, “if you pay peanuts, you’ll get monkeys”

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8654963.stm

 

Part-time working mums more likely to have healthier kids April 20, 2010

Filed under: Working Mum — mummymayhem @ 12:53 am
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A recent Australian study published in the Journal of Social Science and Medicine examined 4,500 children from three groups of mothers: working full-time, working part-time, and stay-at-home.  They concluded that children of mothers who worked part-time had a healthier lifestyle than the other two groups and attributed it to the fact that they watched less TV and had more active play.

Full-time working mums had higher rates of overweight children which was thought to be because they had fewer home cooked meals and that the parents had less time to engage in active play. Stay-at-home mums also had higher rates of overweight children – but they didn’t care to explain that one.  How interesting the author felt able to point the finger at the full- time working mums but didn’t dare touch the stay-at-home mums!

So, why did the author conclude that the children of part-time working mums were healthier? “They (mums) reschedule activities, sleep less, and allocate less time to personal care and leisure to ensure that time with children is protected”.  Well I have to agree based purely on my own perspective.  I work really hard at balancing my 3 days in the office with my 4 days at home.  I get up an hour earlier on the days I work to play dinosaurs and “hide from the cat” games; get motion sickness from using that bloody blackberry whilst walking along; and rush home like a mad woman to fit more time in with the kids.  Am I tired? Always.  Did I give up time with my husband, friends or on myself? Umm… no actually.  So I am clearly more selfish than her research group sample.

Here’s what Auntie Beeb had to say about it http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8547984.stm

 

The cold and the mould April 16, 2010

Filed under: Hong Kong Living — mummymayhem @ 6:49 am
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It’s unseasonably chilly & damp (and therefore mouldy indoors) in Hong Kong this week; and quite the fashion to bemoan it on Facebook.  I am not one to expostulate with the complainers; after all I am one of the worst culprits!  

 I would go so far as to say we have every right to complain: this morning’s ferry reeked of “eau de mould” thanks to so many commuters’ damp clothes; There is so much talk of mouldy walls that the South China Morning Post ran a full-page article on Mould-Tackling today; We need to pack away our winter clothes once and for all (as our apartments aren’t big enough to accommodate more than one season’s clothing); Oh yes, and did I mentioned the Discovery Bay outdoor pool has re-opened but it’s too cold to go for a dip?

When it comes down to it I love a good weather moan: Whether it’s because I’m British or not I leave for you to determine. 

PS – of course MY clothes didn’t smell of mould!

 

De-cluttering Delight April 13, 2010

Filed under: Hong Kong Living — mummymayhem @ 8:49 am
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This weekend I sold the family silver, well not quite but it was certainly cathartic to rid myself of the un-loved house junk.  I shared a stall at our local flea market with my lovely Swiss Miss, Sylvie, and we had a laugh cleansing our lives of old clothes, toys and the occasional inflatable monkey.  We priced far too low and then spent proceeds at pub straight afterwards but you can’t put a price on the space I’ve freed up in my “Chateau ShoeBox” of a flat.

I was quite merciless about what I rid myself of, and I can’t quite believe now that I used to be such a horder.  Being a horder was a bad habit that I simply had to drop: not a sustainable way of life considering we have lived in so many places.  We counted the other night that between Christian and I we have lived in over 20 different places in 4 countries in less than 10 years.  Living out of bags became a way of life for over a decade until we bought a love nest in Sydney.  Although that home was not to last long for us as we took an opportunity in Hong Kong – so we had to store our precious goodies in a sad old lock-up garage on the outskirts of Sydney.  One of these days we shall receive the storage and look at it wondering why we horded so much (as well as wonder how I ever fitted into that tiny wedding dress)! 

So, should I ever have the opportunity to live in somewhere big enough to swing a cat in I have made myself a promise that I shall not revert back to my hording ways….lets just see if I can resist the home wares sales shall we!